Rooftop parenting: what can you do when your teenage son’s thrill-seeking is beyond your own?

We seemed to be at a crossroads where his desire to explore had overtaken his sense of self-preservation. He was at an age where dark nights with friends were more appealing than being at home, but it scared me. There has been a lot of knife crime in our area, there are people he was in school with with murder sentences now, but it never occurred to me that the greatest threat for the safety of MB could be himself.

The ten minutes it took for his mother to come, after I explained how bad it was, gave me enough time to tell MB that I had seen the video, that it wasn’t It wasn’t a good situation at all and he should stay in his room until I called him.

He said, “I knew what I was doing.

I replied, “I’m sure, but it’s when something unexpected happens that terrifies me. The guys who work on the cranes wear heavy duty boots and gloves.

Her mother looked stunned. I had never seen her this way before, like her whole world was coming to an end. I sat with her for 15 minutes in my room; we hadn’t been alone together since our divorce a decade ago. I explained that I thought the best thing we could do was listen to him and make him understand how afraid we were of losing him, rather than berating him (I didn’t want to push him to do it. more). I said she should leave without speaking, rather than be angry. Trying something different might make her realize that this was a higher level of concern. It was the first time in all this time that she had agreed to follow my point of view on things. MB was shocked when I told him that his mother was too upset to see him, that every moment we would have spent with him would be shattered if he had fallen from the crane.


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